Oh Happy Day

Our happy day is finally here. I am at a loss for words (a first for me!) to somehow convey all of the overwhelming feelings we are experiencing. So I guess I'll save that for later, and for now stick to the facts. We arrived at the hospital at about 8:30 a.m. and were taken back to the cast room shortly. They gave Caroline headphones in a (mostly futile) attempt to block the noise. Fortunately, or not as the case may be, we were familiar with the cast room & the saw due to a repair trip we made on Tuesday. Yes, 3 days ago we had to have the cast trimmed due to a pressure sore near the edge of the leg. No, our ultra-conservative surgeon would not allow the whole cast to come off 3 days early. :) Caroline was fine with the saw for about 45 seconds, then she screamed for about 3-4 minutes until they finished with the saw. I think curiosity took over and she watched the tech use giant scissors and pliers to cut & pry off the cast. They basically cut it down the sides and took off the top, then told me to pick her up out of the bottom half. Voila! The whole thing took about 5 minutes. Ironically it was very hard to pick her up because a) we are used to the cast now and b) we were terrified of hurting her. She was very limp & floppy and seemed quite light! Her poor skin took a beating though, several very raw areas and of course your typical stinky, dry, dead skin. Lovely isn't it!? She was not thrilled with having an x-ray but fortunately the results were "great," according to our surgeon, which for him is roughly equitable to an "amazing" or "outstanding" to the rest of the world. Thank you God. I'll split this into two posts due to length. To be continued...

Contentment

Back at the beginning of this journey, I posted about how I was in a Ladies' Bible Study on the topic of contentment. I went on to list the numerous challenges - many of them bizarre in nature - that members of my small group had faced during the study. Now as we near the end of at least this chapter, I cannot help but take another look at this concept of contentment. Throughout this time in the spica, one word has been repeated more often than any other: content. Countless people have remarked about how "content" Caroline seemed in the cast. I finally noticed the other day that the word being used to describe my sweet baby was the same one I had studied & pondered & prayed about at length. It is humbling, to say the least, to realize that your toddler is better equipped to teach you than you are to teach her. Indeed, we have marvelled along with our friends at the peace with which Caroline accepted the cast, the joy she has sustained throughout, the perseverance she has demonstrated. Her cheerful good nature has not waned, as mine always does when faced with the slightest disappointment. I have wrestled with the concept of contentment, just not able to quite understand what it means. My questions about it are many; I'm probably just looking for a loophole. But none of my intellectual pursuits have come close to enlightening me the way my daughter has. God knew we needed a model; that's why he sent his son. Caroline has personified contentment for me in a way I will (hopefully) never forget. I have learned the difference between happiness and contentment. I can confidently say she has been content, although she's not always been happy with each circumstance. Most glaring, though, is the inclusion of trust in the mix. It's an ingredient I would not automatically equate with contentment, even though it seems obvious now. I believe a huge part of Caroline's ability to do so well has been the fact that she trusts us. She has reveled in our affection & love for her, always of course, but especially since the surgery. She knows we love her & will help her when she can't help herself; we'll comfort & reassure her when she's sad. She believes us when we say, "it's gonna be ok" and "it won't be like this forever." She knows she's not alone. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. - Matthew 18:2-4

The Waiting Place

"...for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,

or a plane to go or the mail to come,

or the rain to go or the phone to ring,

or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants

or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting."

- Dr. Seuss, "Oh! The Places You'll Go"

This is a frustrating place to be.

I have lived long enough to understand that life is too short to wish away any days, and yet here we are. As much as we have tried valiantly to carry on normally as much as possible, sometimes we just can't. And during those times, this passage echoes in my ears. It feels strange to cheer the passing of each day, to joyfully put another "x" on the calendar, because I realize that at the end of these 12 weeks, 12 weeks of our lives will be gone. Not just the cast, but the rest too--my baby will never again be 18, 19, 20 months old. It's such a dichotomy; we want June 20th to come so quickly, and yet that seems wrong in many ways.

Reflections aside, my apologies for the long delay between posts. It's just that, again, there hasn't been much to report. Caroline is doing wonderfully, she zips right along on the floor if you put her there (or anyplace on her tummy). Baths and diaper changes, both of which involve tummy time, are becoming increasingly difficult as she tries to slither away!

You can tell, though, that we are all nearing the end of our tolerance with the cast. Caroline is getting somewhat more frustrated, though she's still quite content (more on that later). I am growing weary of the pseudo-baths & macgyver-type diaper changes & cast repairs. This 2nd cast is more difficult than the first; we are having a hard time with the moleskin padding & waterproof tape that's used around the edges. Last time we barely had to do any replacements or repairs, this time I'm having to fix something at every diaper change. Not to mention, I'm sick of carrying her everywhere--she's heavy!!! And mostly, I'm anxious to hold her close & give her a real good snuggle. The big sisters are out of school & chomping at the bit to go, go, go but it's sweltering and Caroline is just too hot. They've asked every day if we can go to the pool. Bless them, they are being so patient, but they're just little kids!

All of this to say, we are thankful that we have just 2 weeks to go! We are officially on the countdown. And, ambivalence or no, it's not a moment too soon.

Oversight

I re-read my last post today and was appalled at the MAJOR oversight. In all my ravings about the new cast, I forgot to give credit & thanks where it is most definitely due--to our gracious & faithful Abba Father. I am so amazed at his constant provision & presence, not only when the news is good but also when it is not. But today, let us give thanks for the good news he has allowed to come into our lives. Melissa

Cast Change!

Today was the big day--cast change! It went beautifully and we were home by 10:30 a.m. Caroline and I both took nice long naps :) She was fussy after she woke from the anesthetic, but is back to normal now.

Our surgeon said her x-ray/arthrogram looked really good, he was pleased with how her hip was seated in the socket, and that it felt very stable upon manipulation. That is really great news; it is not always the case with hip dysplasia kids.

Just to mark the change, and for something different, we went with a bright purple cast this time. It is almost exactly the same as the first one, except the bar is curved. This is due to the fact that I teased our dr. about the last bar (it was very close to the diaper area), so he made a special effort to make changing easier for us!!! Bless him, it was so sweet, but just goes to show surgeons lose their sense of humor somewhere along the way... hello, I was kidding!

However it is a lovely cast, as spica casts go, and so clean & shiny I am tempted to lick it!!! :)

He did say her skin looked great--one of the best he's ever seen! My reaction to that was a mixture of pride and severe shock. It was a relief though, I've heard horror stories about the terrible sores found under the cast.

So, we go back in six weeks and 1 day to have the spica removed. She will be awake that time, and will be fitted for her brace that day. She'll be in the brace full time for 4-6 weeks, although we'll be able to remove it for baths (hooray!!) and hopefully some swimming. After that, we'll see, it just depends on her x-rays. Most kids are weaned very gradually from the brace, so that's what we're expecting.

For now, though, we're just enjoying our nice clean girl and celebrating the halfway mark.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. They sustain us.

Love,

Melissa

ps--be sure to see the previous post, I just added lots of pics.

In recovery

Walking around in recovery

Back on the beanbag again!

Pictures

Here are the girls in the beautiful dresses my friend Cindy made. Note the customized spica-friendly bloomers on Caroline!

The other day, in a fit of nostalgia, I got out the shaving cream & let Caroline go crazy. I'm not the only one who remembers doing this at school, am I?

Then we "cleaned up" by having a tea (water) party. (I covered her in a waterproof floor mat)

For her last bath in the pink cast, I let her play in the sink (yes I cleaned it first!). I've been scared to do this for fear of getting soaked, but I figured the cast is being changed in a couple days anyway, so why not give it a try? She had a ball splashing around and my fears were unfounded, so we'll definitely be doing this more often!

Happy Mother's Day!

Ok, not sure if anyone is still reading this, but if you are please accept my apologies for the long silence... There has not been much to report as of late. We are doing fine and Caroline is plugging along. She had an ear infection last week--that was much more traumatic to her than surgery! She is finally getting more comfortable with being on her tummy, she's scooting around more. Other than that, it's just status quo. Tomorrow, though, marks a major milestone: CAST CHANGE! Hooray! Now, I know you are probably thinking, big deal, what's so great about that? But let me tell you, just stop for a minute and think about what is involved in having a toddler in a body cast for 6 weeks, including diapers, no bathing, and scooting on the floor. Now you might be able to relate a little bit! Of course it's also a big deal because it marks the halfway point for the Spica cast. Six weeks down, six to go!!!! She will go under general anesthesia tomorrow because applying a body cast requires her to be completely still. They will also give her a good bath (hallelujah!), do another arthrogram (dye x-ray) and manipulate her hip to evaluate the progress. All this to say, it is very minor compared to the first surgery, but it's still considered surgery and has risks. Please keep her in your prayers. I have lots of pictures to post, I'll try to do that tomorrow along with an update. Melissa